Is it April already? Is it just me, or does time fly by when you have a baby? Well it certainly feels that way! Even though I do the same things every day, it doesn’t feel boring or routine like I would have pre-baby. Pre-baby, everything was just so… predictable. Wake up at the same time every morning when the alarm rings, take a shower, get ready for work, spend the day at the office, leave office, reach home, prepare dinner, have dinner, wash up, some TV or social media time, sleep. Weekends? Food-hunting mostly! Movies, dinners, walks on the beach, occasional trips to the coast. Yes, that was life pre-baby, and I have to admit, even though I like routine, I did feel that my life was uninteresting. Fast forward to present, and a small part of me actually misses that predictable routine. Fine, a big part of me. I guess it’s true when they say that you won’t miss what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Life-changer, this little one
I do miss having my 8-hour sleep every night. I do miss leaving for office and going back home driving at leisurely speed. I do miss having my own sweet time to prepare dinner every day and to experiment with different recipes when I felt like it. Now? I will be very lucky if I get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. I am normally awaken by the baby even before my alarm rings. I drive to office in a rush because of the extra time I take to fetch Little J to child care in the morning, and I drive back in a rush too, so that I can reach the child care before it closes at 6pm. And dinner is now an express affair with a maximum of 15 minutes spent putting the rice in the rice cooker and whipping up a very simple stir-fry dish or oven-baked dish. I can’t even remember the last time I tried out a new recipe. Don’t even get me started on holidays. What holidays?
Back when he still had not learnt to stand
On top of all this, there are also the occasional days when Little J gets sick at the child care, and I would have to leave office in the middle of the day, pick him up, bring him to the doctor’s and worry about him until he gets better. Seriously, MOTHERHOOD. It amazes me what motherhood has made me do, things that I’d never thought I could.
Waiting at the clinic – check out his drool!
Can you blame me for missing my predictable care-free life pre-baby? On the other hand, every day when I go home to see this little bundle of joy, I am reminded of how lucky I am, and how much love I have for this little baby. It makes all the dark eye circles, the incessant yawning during meetings at work, the constant worry of getting a call from the child care at work, worth it. At 8 months now, he is so much more active. I have always known that he’s an active baby because he just wouldn’t keep still even when he was newborn. His hands would always be moving and his legs kicking. And now that he’s learnt to crawl, he is going everywhere! He’s also learning to stand, so he will pull himself up whenever he is able to anchor onto something – a couch, cot bar, TV table, you name it.
Every time I look at Little J, I am filled with pride and amazement, mostly from the fact that I have managed to take care of him full-time on my own for the first 6 months, and more than part-time once I start working. I never thought I could do it, juggling work, baby and housework at the same time, but here I am still alive, albeit exhausted. I really don’t know what a good night’s sleep feels like anymore, but I am sure it will come to me soon. It’s just a matter of time, right?
Our precious cutie <3